Developmental Asset #12: School Boundaries

Just as it’s important that teens be given clear boundaries and consequences at home, it is equally important that they be held accountable in their school environment. If you are a Phoenix family, your teens may not spend very much time on site at school, but they are still held to standards of respectful behaviour while they are here. They, and you, are also responsible for submitting work on time, attending meetings, and interacting appropriately with Phoenix staff. Whether you are with Phoenix or with another educational institution, here are some ways you can take action to make sure your teen is receiving and respecting boundaries at school.

 

  1. Lead by example. Be respectful of staff, rules, deadlines, facilities, and other families, and make sure your children are as well.

 

  1. Keep communication open with your child’s Learning Coach about deadlines and expectations.

 

  1.  Review your teen’s work after every study session to make sure that the work is getting done and that progress is being made.

 

  1. School should feel safe for children. Talk to them about their school experience, and if you find out that bullying is going on, or have any other safety concern, report it.

 

RECOMMENDED READING: RECOMMENDED READING: Safe Places to Learn: 21 Lessons to Help Students Promote a Caring School Climate by Paul Sulley

 

Search Institute has identified 40 building blocks of healthy development, known as Developmental Assets, that help adolescents to grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. Visit us here every Wednesday to read about different ways that you, your family, and your community can take action to help equip our young people develop resilience and achieve success in life.

Developmental Asset #11: Family Boundaries

Adolescence is a time of shifting roles and responsibilities, for both kids and parents. For many kids, it’s a time of rebellion, of bucking against parental authority. As your kids become more independent and capable, they will be taking on more responsibility for their actions, and family rules and expectations may change. It is important to be flexible in the face of these changes, but it is also vitally important to maintain boundaries and rules in your family. Your children need to know that their actions have consequences. Here are a few important things to remember.

 

  1. Monitor your teens’ whereabouts. Always ask where they are going, with whom, and when they will be home.

 

  1. Hold your kids of all ages accountable for their behaviour online. This is a challenging area for parents who feel like they’re less web-savvy than their children, but let them know early on that you’re tracking their activity online, and then make sure that you do it. Don’t try to trap them – instead, if they’re aware of your monitoring, they are more likely to use the Internet responsibly. Parenting.com has this very helpful article with the provocative title “How to Spy on Your Child Online.” It’s a worthwhile read about why it’s so important to monitor your kids’ online activity, how you can do it, and how to do it in the right spirit, with a clean conscience. Internet safety is about more than just protecting your kids from predators, scams, and viruses now – it’s also about how the wrong social media post can adversely affect their futures.

    For your younger kids and preteens, Google has a new program called Be Internet Awesome. It has resources for educators (that’s you!), a pledge for family members to sign, and an online game to help kids learn about sharing with care, protecting personal information, distinguishing fact from fiction, and respect for others.

3. When your teen lashes out at you, try to respond with love, not with anger. Say something like, “I’m sorry that you’re feeling that way right now, and I love you, but the way you’re behaving is not okay.”

 

RECOMMENDED READING: Parenting Preteens with a Purpose: Navigating the Middle Years by Kate Thomsen

 

Search Institute has identified 40 building blocks of healthy development, known as Developmental Assets, that help adolescents to grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. Visit us here every Wednesday to read about different ways that you, your family, and your community can take action to help equip our young people develop resilience and achieve success in life.

 

Developmental Asset #10: Safety

Adolescents do better in all areas if they feel safe and secure in their homes, schools, and neighbourhoods. It is also vitally important that they be well-informed about safety now that they are becoming more independent. Here are some ways you can help create a safe and secure environment for your adolescent, but remember, you’re not alone – seek help from professionals, police, and other caring adults in your community when you have a safety concern.

 

  1. First and foremost, create a loving, violence-free home. If there is ever a time when you feel angry or upset enough to become physically or emotionally violent with your teen, remove yourself from the situation immediately. Leave the room. You may want to call a trusted friend or counselor, go for a walk, or visit a neighbour. The important thing is that you physically leave your teen for however long it takes to cool down.

 

  1. If you think your child’s safety or the safety of someone else is endangered, or if your child is engaging in risky behaviour of any kind, don’t wait. Act now. Intervene, and enlist others’ help to do so. If necessary, seek professional support.

 

  1. Bullying threats that mention weapons or explosives must be taken seriously and reported to police.

 

  1. Talk openly and honestly with your child about drugs and alcohol, especially in relation to driving. Encourage them to ask questions.

 

  1. Talk to your child about the relationship between driving and emotions, and let them know that driving while distracted, angry, or sad can be as dangerous as driving impaired.

 

RECOMMENDED READING: Empowering Youth: How to Encourage Young Leaders to Do Great Things by Kelly Curtis and Helping Teens Handle Tough Experiences: Strategies to Foster Resilience by Jill R. Nelson and Sarah Kjos

 

Search Institute has identified 40 building blocks of healthy development, known as Developmental Assets, that help adolescents to grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. Visit us here every Wednesday to read about different ways that you, your family, and your community can take action to help equip our young people develop resilience and achieve success in life.

Boots Off!

Thanks for taking off your boots!

There are lots of snowy days in Calgary and the Phoenix foundation appreciates it when you take off your boots at the front door.

 Many of our floors are painted concrete so they can get slippery when wet. Please bring in-door shoes. Kinder kids have wonderful orange bins to store their shoes in and the preschool kids are getting the same soon.

Thank you for helping to keep Phoenix warm and dry!